Thursday, September 17, 2026

Piermont's 50 Ways To Dump Dirk Diggler.



[Drumbeat]
[VERSE]
“The Problem Is All Inside Your Head”,
Yorg Said To Nate.
“The Answer Is Easy If You
Just Don’t Complicate.
 
Let Dennis Help You
With A Letter You’ll Create.
There Must Be Fifty Ways
To Dump Dirk Diggler”.
 
She Said, “It’s Really Not My Habit To Intrude.
Furthermore, I Have More Mailings
That I’m Trying To Elude.
 
But I’ll Repeat Myself
At The Risk That We Collude.
There Must Be Fifty Ways
To Dump Dirk Diggler.
Fifty Ways To Dump Dirk Diggler”.
 
[CHORUS]
Just Drop His Pink Slip, Skip.
Cut Off His ‘Stache, Cash.
Pull Out The Plug, Tug.
Just Get Yourself Free.
 
Change Out His Lock, Doc.
Don’t See Any Roadblocks.
Just Give Him The Axe, Max.
And Get Yourself Free.
 
Oooh, Drop His Pink Slip, Skip.
Cut Off His ‘Stache, Cash.
Pull Out The Plug, Tug.
Just Get Yourself Free.
 
Change Out His Lock, Doc.
Don’t See Any Roadblocks.
Just Give Him The Axe, Max.
And Get Yourself Free.
 
[VERSE]
She Said, “It Grieves Me So...
The Scrutiny’s Intense.
I Wish There Was Something I Could Do
To Raze That Stupid Fence.
 
Nate Said, “Well, I Appreciate That.
And Would You Please Explain
About The Fifty Ways?”
 
She Said, “Why Don’t We Both
Just Rat-Out Mayor Bruce?
And I Believe In The Morning
We Can Cut Dirk Diggler Loose”.
 
And Then It Hit Him,
And Nate Realized They Needed No Excuse.
There Must Be Fifty Ways
To Dump Dirk Diggler.
Fifty Ways To Dump Dirk Diggler.
 
[CHORUS]
Just Drop His Pink Slip, Skip.
Cut Off His ‘Stache, Cash.
Pull Out The Plug, Tug.
Just Get Yourself Free.
 
Change Out His Lock, Doc.
Don’t See Any Roadblocks.
Just Give Him The Axe, Max.
And Get Yourself Free.
 
Oooh, Drop His Pink Slip, Skip.
Cut Off His ‘Stache, Cash.
Pull Out The Plug, Tug.
Just Listen To Me.
 
Change Out His Lock, Doc.
Push Him Aside, Clyde.
Give Him The Axe, Max.
And Get Yourself Free.
[Drumbeat - Fade Out]

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