Send Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker To A Furry Convention.

Right about now, virtually all of Piermont, New York’s approximate 2,500 residents are figuring out that their very own Mayor Bruce Tucker inserts himself in many ridiculous settings and situations. One might otherwise think that as the senior public official responsible for the well-being of all Village residents and the future of the Village, Bruce Tucker would not be inclined to pose in ludicrous costumes and absurd tableaus, and then publicly-post photographs of himself doing so to multiple social media channels.

But here we are. 

And that’s exactly what Mayor Bruce Tucker likes to do. 

This is why I am today recommending that Bruce Tucker immediately step down as Mayor of Piermont, New York, and get himself to the nearest Furry Convention:
https://furrycons.com/calendar/

He can even bring his favorite trusty champagne flute with him, to break the social tension following his removal of what is likely to be an over-the-head Furry costume.

On first read, one may think that this is all one big laughing matter.
 
Yet, it’s not.
 
Think about the individuals that Mayor Bruce Tucker emulates, and the historical figures and “inspirations” to whom Mayor Tucker aspires, as he continues to play dress-up in these gaudy, bizarre costumes while engaging in these various Mayoral cosplay scenarios and backdrops.
 
First, consider that Bruce Tucker and his Piermont Historical Society cohorts actually sponsored a “Bastille Day” for Piermont on July 13, 2024. 

That’s right – under Bruce Tucker’s aegis, the Village of Piermont celebrated a very special holiday lauding French terrorism, one which typically features a guillotine placed in the middle of Piermont for some comic relief. Here's an actual photo of the Piermont Bastille Day guillotine from the recent past. Great for the kids, right?

Apparently, Bruce’s Historical Society has temporarily forgotten which country’s laws their “non-profit” corporation is organized under, but you can bet that this little technicality will be addressed in a subsequent post to this "Unhand Piermont!" Blog. If you want to read up on Bruce’s Historical Society "non-profit", see, e.g.:

https://projects.propublica.org/nonprofits/organizations/562597821
It still amazes me how a village within the State of New York and within the United States of America could possibly even think to make a bigger deal about Bastille Day than Flag Day on June 14 – yet maybe that’s what regime-change is really all about. Remember that I said that when the next Piermont mayoral election occurs. Always choose the American choice.
 
All that said, even the most jocular of notions that Mayor Bruce Tucker fancies himself as some sort of wannabe French “revolutionary” and man of the people, is an absolute canard. It's of whole cloth. Piermont’s Mayor Bruce Tucker is the same clown who is in the process of selling-out the interests of innocent Piermont residents to shady New Jersey real estate “developers”, right now - right while you are reading this Blog post. Tucker’s demented emulation of revolutionaries is therefore hypocrisy to the extreme. It’s as if Bruce Tucker is playing a joke on the entire populace of Piermont, chortling to himself because none of the Piermont voters have caught on to the joke yet.
 
But OK. So maybe you are sympathetic to the French citizens of 1789, because, pour l'amour de Dieu, it was so long ago. So, how about Mayor Bruce Tucker’s present-day idolatry of Che Guevara (1928-67), a known racist, homophobe, and mass murderer?:
https://humanprogress.org/the-truth-about-che-guevara-racist-homophobe-and-mass-murderer/

Now THERE’s a real role model that Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker shows us he can really get behind. Again, Tucker’s pictorial pretense of somehow raging against the establishment, is totally preposterous. Bruce Tucker IS the Machine. Bruce Tucker is in the process of intentionally selling-out the Village of Piermont, New York for a song, and the debacle of 447-477 Piermont Avenue that Bruce himself enabled is but one of several examples of his willful malfeasance and scienter. Bruce Tucker is exactly the guy that would have enraged the French revolutionaries of 1789 and Che Guevara’s thugs.

Then there’s Mayor Bruce Tucker’s apparent penchant for wearing a toga. This is the part of the Blog post that, if you are eating a sandwich right now, you really need to put the sandwich down. 

Aside from the fact that Mayor Tucker is probably the last guy in Piermont who should be exposing that much skin in public and on social media, Tucker is also the last guy who should risk evoking the specter of the Roman Emperor Nero. Just as Nero fiddled while Rome burned, Tucker has the annoying habit of playing banjo while watching his community descend into real estate developer Hell. 

Maybe Bruce is chortling to himself about that joke he’s playing on Piermont residents, too. 

Maybe that’s exactly why he has a penchant for dressing in a toga.

Now, it’s not yet entirely clear who Mayor Bruce Tucker was trying to emulate when dressing up in the pith helmet with the fake black moustache and binoculars as depicted below. However, according to Google and ChatGPT, those known to have been fond of pith helmets include Melania Trump, and various colonial and military oppressors of the past. In this latter respect, the pith is therefore the most fitting of Mayor Bruce Tucker’s costumes and cosplay, as colonial-esque oppression of the people of Piermont is closest to his true mission in life.

Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker is no revolutionary. He’s just a guy who likes to play dress-up and pretend. Meanwhile, Bruce Tucker is pretending to be a real mayor, pretending to serve the interests of the people of Piermont, and pretending to care about the people of Piermont. In these regards Mayor Bruce Tucker is truly nothing but a masquerader and a charlatan, and the people of Piermont, New York deserve better. Throw Bruce Tucker out of office and just send him to the next Furry Convention.