WHEREAS outgoing Piermont Garmento Mayor Bruce Tucker has
now failed to anoint his straw-man-best-boy candidate Kevin Timoney as his mayoral
successor in Piermont Village Hall:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/11/no-hand-count-for-you-timbo.html
WHEREAS outgoing Piermont Garmento Mayor Bruce Tucker has
now propagated the public statement of a bloated and specious de facto
concession speech acknowledging both his own departure from office as well as his
favorite MIMBO’s defeat:
It is THEREFORE once again time to deflate Bruce
Tucker’s patronizing premeditated prose, and actually translate each item of Bruce
Tucker’s offensive joint concession speech, for you, the Piermont resident.
These below translations are provided to you as a public service by “Unhand Piermont!” and “Get Your Hands Off Of Piermont”, whose communications can be found here:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558931499740
https://www.facebook.com/groups/988245836121689
What follows are the direct quotations from Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker alias “The Elizabeth, New Jersey Home Goods Garmento” himself, each passage identified as:
“FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK: …”
Tucker’s statements are then translated for you
immediately thereafter in text identified as:
“TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: …”
Now, without further ado:
- - - - -
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/11/no-hand-count-for-you-timbo.html
These below translations are provided to you as a public service by “Unhand Piermont!” and “Get Your Hands Off Of Piermont”, whose communications can be found here:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558931499740
https://www.facebook.com/groups/988245836121689
What follows are the direct quotations from Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker alias “The Elizabeth, New Jersey Home Goods Garmento” himself, each passage identified as:
“FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK: …”
“TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: …”
Now, without further ado:
- - - - -
“Village of Piermont, New York
November 13, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Message from Mayor Tucker –
At last night’s Village Board meeting, I read the following speech:…”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Village of Piermont, New York
November 13, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Message from Mayor Tucker –
At last night’s Village Board meeting, I dropped the below piece of mendacious nonsensical propaganda and sophistry on you, the Piermont resident:…”
- - - - -
“Village of Piermont, New York
November 13, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Message from Mayor Tucker –
At last night’s Village Board meeting, I dropped the below piece of mendacious nonsensical propaganda and sophistry on you, the Piermont resident:…”
“Good evening, everyone.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Good evening, my former subjects, victims, pigeons, and paymasters. It was great scamming you and pretending to be a responsible village mayor over the past eight years, and I appreciate the way that about half of you either failed to pay attention to your taxpayer money or else fawned all over me during that time.”
“Good evening, my former subjects, victims, pigeons, and paymasters. It was great scamming you and pretending to be a responsible village mayor over the past eight years, and I appreciate the way that about half of you either failed to pay attention to your taxpayer money or else fawned all over me during that time.”
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“As Mayor of the Village of Piermont, I want to take a moment to speak to all of you following what has been a spirited and, yes, at times, contentious election.”
“As Mayor of the Village of Piermont, I want to take a moment to speak to all of you following what has been a spirited and, yes, at times, contentious election.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“As disgraced lame-duck exiting Mayor of the Village of Piermont, I want to take a moment to speak to all of you following the dumpster-fire of a mayoral election that I unnecessarily created out of my avowed and continued hatred for Nate Mitchell.”
- - - - -
“As disgraced lame-duck exiting Mayor of the Village of Piermont, I want to take a moment to speak to all of you following the dumpster-fire of a mayoral election that I unnecessarily created out of my avowed and continued hatred for Nate Mitchell.”
“Democracy is not always easy, and local elections - where we know our neighbors, our friends, and sometimes our opponents personally - can be especially passionate. But that passion comes from a place of deep care for our Village, and that is something we should all be proud of.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Democracy is not easy, especially when, seeking to over-develop and ultimately destroy your village, your mayor – that is, me, Bruce Tucker - passionately sought only my own personal gain and self-aggrandizement over the past eight years while running Piermont Village Hall just like my former thug-like gangland ‘Lava Lounge’ in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Old habits are hard to break, after all.”
- - - - -
“Democracy is not easy, especially when, seeking to over-develop and ultimately destroy your village, your mayor – that is, me, Bruce Tucker - passionately sought only my own personal gain and self-aggrandizement over the past eight years while running Piermont Village Hall just like my former thug-like gangland ‘Lava Lounge’ in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Old habits are hard to break, after all.”
“First and foremost, I want to congratulate the winner of the Mayoral election, Nate Mitchell. Earning the trust and confidence of your fellow residents is no small achievement. You will soon hold a position that carries both great responsibility and great opportunity - to guide, to listen, and to serve all of Piermont’s residents, whether they voted for you or not.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Then again, who am I to arrogantly dictate to you, Nate Mitchell, what your duties, responsibilities, and expectations will be – while my own only remaining expectation is to get slammed in the New York State Comptroller’s Audit Report with the hope that FBI, NYSAG, and the D.A. don’t put the cuffs on me and shuttle me out to Waymart as a result.”
- - - - -
“Then again, who am I to arrogantly dictate to you, Nate Mitchell, what your duties, responsibilities, and expectations will be – while my own only remaining expectation is to get slammed in the New York State Comptroller’s Audit Report with the hope that FBI, NYSAG, and the D.A. don’t put the cuffs on me and shuttle me out to Waymart as a result.”
“You ran on a promise to bring people together, to heal divisions, and to unify our Village. I hope - and I believe - that you will honor that promise, because Piermont is strongest when we move forward together.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Speaking of ‘move forward together’, Nate, I want you to ignore the fact that the fake MIMBO candidate I propped-up to run against you as mayor spent half a year since June calling you ‘unethical’ while publicly and privately seeking to trash your reputation. But apart from that, we should now all move forward in lock-step together, right, Mayor Mitchell?... Mayor Mitchell?...”
- - - - -
“Speaking of ‘move forward together’, Nate, I want you to ignore the fact that the fake MIMBO candidate I propped-up to run against you as mayor spent half a year since June calling you ‘unethical’ while publicly and privately seeking to trash your reputation. But apart from that, we should now all move forward in lock-step together, right, Mayor Mitchell?... Mayor Mitchell?...”
“I also want to recognize the efforts of the other candidate, Kevin Timoney. Running for office takes courage, commitment, and an enormous investment of time and heart. Your willingness to step forward, to share your ideas, and to engage in the democratic process reflects a deep love for our community. On behalf of the Village, I thank you.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“As for your October 9 ‘debate’ and your ‘campaign’ generally, TIMBO – your ‘preparation’ was Napoleon invading Russia. Your ‘performance’ was Admiral Stockdale. Don’t quit your day job, kid.’
“As for your October 9 ‘debate’ and your ‘campaign’ generally, TIMBO – your ‘preparation’ was Napoleon invading Russia. Your ‘performance’ was Admiral Stockdale. Don’t quit your day job, kid.’
“To the newly elected Trustees of the Village of Piermont, Michael Wright and Catherine McCabe, congratulations as well. The people have placed their confidence in you to help shape the future of this Village. Public service at the local level is where real impact is made, and I wish you every success in the years ahead.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“I actually could not possibly care less about either of you. You’re both irrelevant. My only focus right now is to escape to Bay Head, New Jersey where hopefully no one will be able to find me after the Comptroller’s Audit Report comes out. Don’t give them my address... Oh, wait a minute. They already HAVE it…”
- - - - -
“I actually could not possibly care less about either of you. You’re both irrelevant. My only focus right now is to escape to Bay Head, New Jersey where hopefully no one will be able to find me after the Comptroller’s Audit Report comes out. Don’t give them my address... Oh, wait a minute. They already HAVE it…”
“As I near the end of my term, I am reminded that leadership is temporary, but community is lasting.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“As I near the end of my term, I am reminded what a lousy job I did, triggering New York State inquiry into my financial malfeasance, sending you all into almost a negative ten million dollar Net Position hole, wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars of your taxpayer money to litigate senseless causes against you, witch-hunting my political adversaries, shamelessly pandering to ill-intentioned developers, facilitating over-development and environmental horror-shows that almost destroyed your village, allowing the Piermont Pier tip to crumble into the Hudson due to inadequate maintenance and inattention, running the most opaque and dissembling New York local government since Tammany Hall, and effectively destroying public faith and confidence in Piermont governance for God knows how long into the future. But as TIMBO said during his failed ‘campaign’ – ‘We have ice cream!”
- - - - -
“As I near the end of my term, I am reminded what a lousy job I did, triggering New York State inquiry into my financial malfeasance, sending you all into almost a negative ten million dollar Net Position hole, wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars of your taxpayer money to litigate senseless causes against you, witch-hunting my political adversaries, shamelessly pandering to ill-intentioned developers, facilitating over-development and environmental horror-shows that almost destroyed your village, allowing the Piermont Pier tip to crumble into the Hudson due to inadequate maintenance and inattention, running the most opaque and dissembling New York local government since Tammany Hall, and effectively destroying public faith and confidence in Piermont governance for God knows how long into the future. But as TIMBO said during his failed ‘campaign’ – ‘We have ice cream!”
“The Village of Piermont belongs to all of us - to those who serve, to those who vote, and to those who simply call this special place home. Let us all move forward with respect, with empathy, and with a shared commitment to the well-being of our Village.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Actually, the Village of Piermont has belonged to me, for eight years, particularly post-COVID when most of you stopped paying attention to what your local government was doing and not doing with all your taxpayer money. Oh, well. That’s on you. I’m escaping to Bay Head. You don’t seriously think that I will be able to show my face around this village anymore after the New York State Comptroller’s Audit report comes out, do you?”
- - - - -
“Actually, the Village of Piermont has belonged to me, for eight years, particularly post-COVID when most of you stopped paying attention to what your local government was doing and not doing with all your taxpayer money. Oh, well. That’s on you. I’m escaping to Bay Head. You don’t seriously think that I will be able to show my face around this village anymore after the New York State Comptroller’s Audit report comes out, do you?”
“Thank you, and may Piermont continue to thrive.”
TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
“Thank you for letting me pretend to be a responsible government official for eight years. I hope that you all learned something while I ran my scam. Next time, do some due diligence on your mayoral candidates to make sure that none of them ever got busted by Good Housekeeping and the Wall Street Journal for wholesaling counterfeit-labeled sheets to other garmentos. See ‘ya.”
“Thank you for letting me pretend to be a responsible government official for eight years. I hope that you all learned something while I ran my scam. Next time, do some due diligence on your mayoral candidates to make sure that none of them ever got busted by Good Housekeeping and the Wall Street Journal for wholesaling counterfeit-labeled sheets to other garmentos. See ‘ya.”
