Outgoing Piermont, New York Garmento Mayor Bruce
Tucker actually had the audacity to publish a “Farewell Address” yesterday - a
few short days before he exits Piermont Village Hall in disgrace. I guess that
my dismantling of his prior “Exit Speech” wasn’t a sufficient “farewell” for
his taste:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/11/translating-garmento-mayor-bruce.html
It is therefore once again time to deflate Bruce Tucker’s patronizing propagandized pablum, and actually translate each item of Bruce Tucker’s offensive “Farewell Address” for you, the Piermont resident.
These below translations are again provided to you as a public service by “Unhand Piermont!” and “Get Your Hands Off Of Piermont”, whose communications can be found here:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558931499740
https://www.facebook.com/groups/988245836121689
What follows are the direct “Farewell Address” quotations from Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker alias “The Elizabeth, New Jersey Home Goods Garmento” himself, with each of his scripted passages identified as:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/11/translating-garmento-mayor-bruce.html
It is therefore once again time to deflate Bruce Tucker’s patronizing propagandized pablum, and actually translate each item of Bruce Tucker’s offensive “Farewell Address” for you, the Piermont resident.
These below translations are again provided to you as a public service by “Unhand Piermont!” and “Get Your Hands Off Of Piermont”, whose communications can be found here:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558931499740
https://www.facebook.com/groups/988245836121689
What follows are the direct “Farewell Address” quotations from Piermont Mayor Bruce Tucker alias “The Elizabeth, New Jersey Home Goods Garmento” himself, with each of his scripted passages identified as:
Tucker’s hypocritical written statements are then translated for you immediately thereafter in text identified as:
“TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK INTO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: …”
Now, without further ado, here is:
“THE FAREWELL ADDRESS FROM MAYOR
BRUCE TUCKER”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“To my friends, neighbors, and members of our Piermont community”.
“To all of those I’ve hosed before”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“As I stand at the close of my eighth year as Mayor of this remarkable Village, I do so with immense gratitude. Serving Piermont has been the honor of my life. Together, we have navigated challenges, seized opportunities, and strengthened the foundation of a community that means so much to all of us”.
“… Not to mention, on my own, over the eight years, I’ve distinguished myself as the worst Mayor in all the history of Piermont, and almost destroyed your Village with overdevelopment, fiscal malfeasance, and rank inattention”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“I leave office with Piermont in a strong and stable financial position. Our Village now holds a $2.1 million fund balance, one of the healthiest in our modern history, and carries a AA+ credit rating from Standard & Poor’s - a rating that reflects sound fiscal management and a community poised for continued success”.
“I leave office with the knowledge that Tom DiNapoli’s Office of the New York State Comptroller (OSC) is about to issue an Audit Report destroying me and my morally bankrupt mayoral “administration” for recidivist financial misdeeds – including my taking Piermont into a stunning retrograde from a US$800,000 Net Position surplus, to what has approached a NEGATIVE Ten Million Dollar Net Position hole. Now you know why I failed to file Village financials for inclusion in OSC’s Fiscal Stress Monitor for virtually the entirety of my eight-year reign as Garmento Mayor. To say I left Piermont in a ‘strong and stable financial position’, would be the equivalent of sheltering from an H-Bomb in a yurt”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Just as importantly, we achieved this stability while keeping the burden on taxpayers remarkably low. Over the past eight years, Village taxes increased an average of only 0.66% per year. To put that in perspective: during the fourteen years before my administration, the average annual tax increase was 3.86%. Working closely with our Board of Trustees, department heads, and professional staff, we delivered responsible budgets that invested in our community without putting undue pressure on our residents”.
“Just as importantly, although I tagged you in 2024 with an almost 7% unexpected tax increase, I held off substantial tax increases in this, my loathsome last year in office in 2025, to make sure that I dumped a fiscal morass on the next Piermont Mayor so as to blame the victim and make it look like the next Mayor’s fault”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“But our accomplishments together go far beyond the numbers”.
“But every time I see another Piermont home being built or raised-up on stilts to escape the flooding which I had eight years to resolve and never did - for fear that I would thereby scare off the greasy Jersey real estate developers whose pockets I was trying to pad with my scam “spot zoning” scheme - I think about my legacy which goes far beyond the numbers”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Over these eight years, we… [s]trengthened public safety, supporting our Police, Fire Department, EMS, and DPW with modern equipment, improved training, and the resources necessary to continue providing the exceptional service Piermont is known for”.
“For that matter, every time I think about how for eight consecutive years I enabled a Fire Department that still counts no less than three child sex abusers as its members, I think about my legacy which goes far beyond the numbers”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Improved infrastructure, from road and sidewalk upgrades to drainage improvements that helped make our community more resilient”.
“But pay no attention to the fact that many of your lower-lying Piermont homes and businesses will be underwater in a few years, thanks to my refusal and inability to invoke sufficient assistance to cure or even stave-off the flooding problem. Just make sure to think of me fondly every time that there is a heavy rainfall from here on in. I’ll either be up the hill on Piermont Avenue, or else lamenting the fate of all of you poor unfortunates while in Bay Head with a full champagne flute in my hand”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Promoted fiscal responsibility and long-term planning, implementing capital plans, securing grants, and making strategic investments that will benefit Piermont for years to come”.
“Of course I say this while the New York State Comptroller’s office is, en masse, laughing their tails off at the dysfunctional grant procedures deployed and amateurish paperwork submitted during my eight years in office, not to mention the manner in which the grant monies were allocated, directed, used, and accounted-for”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Supported our local businesses, helping them weather challenges - especially during the pandemic - and strengthening the vibrant, walkable downtown that defines our character”.
“Maybe you remember this, too – I almost ‘strengthened’ the ‘vibrant’ downtown by deploying anti-NIMBY firm Nelson Pope Voorhis to help enact a fake ‘Local Law #4 of 2023’ which in turn enabled the “Central Business Multi-Use” Zone, all as a ruse, while most of you weren’t paying attention, to facilitate a crooked real estate deal in the form of ‘447-477 Piermont Avenue’ that none of you residents actually wanted. One of my greatest regrets is that I never got a chance to cause the building of that Super 8-esque structure on the Sunoco gasoline station site on top of the location of its underground gasoline tanks – thanks to Justice Greenwald of the New York State Supreme Court and Attorney Brian Condon who stopped me”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Protected our environment, advancing sustainability initiatives and safeguarding the natural assets that make Piermont such a unique and special place to live”.
“Speaking of ‘protecting’ the ‘environment’, and remembering that I attested in writing that my pet project at 447-477 Piermont Avenue would have little to no adverse environmental impact - did I ever tell you that the 447 construction would also have been built within a few hundred feet of a Superfund site? No, I guess that I forgot to tell you that at the time”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“You can see details of additional accomplishments below”.
“What follows is mostly a grab-bag of routine local governmental tasks discharged by others, for which I now try to claim as my own and for which I now try to take credit, in a desperate attempt to make my mayoral ‘legacy’ anything but the ballistic New York State Comptroller’s Audit Report to shortly follow”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“None of this was done alone. My deepest thanks go to the Board of Trustees, both current and former, for their partnership; to our Department Heads who continue to go above and beyond for Piermont, to our Village employees for their dedication; and to the countless volunteers whose passion fuels everything from our committees to our cultural life. And to the residents of this Village - thank you. You placed your trust in me for eight years, and I am profoundly grateful”.
“You’re damn right none of this was done alone. All I did was create a token-economy of supplicants rooted in favoritism and conflicts-of-interests, unabashedly sucking-up to me – while you all paid for it”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“As Piermont enters a new chapter, I leave office with confidence and optimism. The Village is fiscally strong, resilient, and well-positioned for the future. Every downtown business storefront is occupied. I wish my successor success, and I hope the commitments made - to unity, respect, and constructive leadership - will guide the years ahead”.
“And if you truly think that I would ever actually wish my sworn political enemy Nate Mitchell well, then I have a one-mile pier to sell to you before the end of the year at a deep discount. I’ll even throw in some 400-count sheets and Lava Lounge do-rags that I brought up from Elizabeth, New Jersey a few years ago”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Piermont has been my home for decades, and it will forever be in my heart. I look forward to continuing to serve this community as a resident, a neighbor, and a friend”.
“… Until the Comptroller’s Audit Report comes out and gets published on every single social media page known to all humanity, leading me in turn to hustle down the Parkway and escape to Bay Head for good”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Thank you for the privilege of serving as your Mayor. May each of you have a wonderful holiday season and may the Village continue to thrive!”.
“Thank you again for letting me take advantage of you for eight years while most of you were too distracted to pay attention”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Accomplishments Under My Administration Through 8 Years (2018 – 2025)”.
“Things That Other People Did, For Which I Now Take Credit, To Try To Cover-Up The Squalid Stain That Is My Mayoral ‘Legacy’”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Being a full-time Mayor has allowed me to accomplish much in my eight years of service. It has enabled me to hold weekly meetings with Piermont Department heads, as well as regularly attend meetings with other community leaders and organizations”.
“The notion that I actually meaningfully interacted or even meaningfully communicated with bona fide community leaders during my foul mayoral reign, would be the equivalent of calling Idi Amin a ‘people person’”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Fiscal… [a]verage of only a .66% yearly increase in the Village tax rate for homeowners over the past eight years! (Verses[sic] 3.86% increase a year for the previous 14 years)”.
“Some day I might actually go back to school to try to learn the difference between the Latin “versus” on the one hand, and the English “verses”[sic] on the other hand. But what do you want from an Anthro major from SUNY Binghamton? And good luck in 2026 when Nate has to send you my next tax bill”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Unassigned Village Fund Balance (essentially a bank account for the Village) of $2,108,320 as of our most recent Audit for Budget year ended May 31, 2025 – essentially doubling the amount of when I took office”.
“Maybe you don’t remember that, just recently, the Piermont “Unassigned Fund Balance” was over US$3.2 Million. Now it’s at US$2.1 Million – down over a Million Dollars. Make sure you read the Comptroller’s Audit Report to learn about why that differential materialized.
- - - - - - - - - -
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“The Village is in its best financial condition in its entire history – as confirmed by our S&P rating of AA+ for the Village (only one step below their best rating of AAA)”.
“Yeah… ‘Best financial condition in its entire history’… Which is why the New York State Comptroller has been auditing my books and records throughout the last two calendar years straight, and why I took Piermont from a US$800,000 Net Position surplus to almost a negative Ten Million Dollar Net Position deficit. Watch what happens to Piermont bonds and bond ratings once the Comptroller’s Audit Report comes out. It’s all happening”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Reduced Village energy costs by negotiating with independent electric and gas suppliers”.
“Speaking of ‘energy costs’, can anyone out there donate us Ten Thousand Dollars to pay for Christmas lights? Because I think I’m still tapped out”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Joined Community Solar on all Village-owned electric accounts, saving the Village 10% off every bill”.
“Of course, if I hadn’t worked so hard throughout my eight years in office to conceal Village financials from all of you residents, you might have been aware of this already”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Raised the threshold tax cap exemption on Piermont [s]eniors to allow them to earn more and pay reduced taxes”.
“Isn’t it funny, therefore, that during my eight years in office the Village of Piermont remained unaffordable for all but the most affluent senior citizens?”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a Local Law giving [t]ax breaks to Piermont [f]irst [r]esponders who own homes in Piermont”.
“… A real generous concession on my part, given that the bulk of the Piermont first responders could never themselves actually afford to own homes in Piermont given their wealth and income levels”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Quality Of Life… [b]uilt a new children’s playground along with landscaping and drainage improvements at the Community Center (at no cost to taxpayers thanks to a $200,000 grant from Rockland County ARPA funds)”.
“Hey, speaking of kids – remember that time last year when I scared the Hell out of all of them and their families by threatening to pave-over their Little League field in favor of putting up a parking lot? Yeah, that was some fun”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Revitalized the Community Center building and continue to make improvements to aid the P.A.L. and the greater Piermont community”.
“Again, the key to preserving my ‘legacy’ if you want to call it that, is to take credit for work that other people rendered for the Community center and P.A.L., while I was too busy dressing in togas and pirate costumes, drinking, and pretending that Bastille Day was a more important American holiday than Flag Day or July 4th”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Oversaw the renovation of Half Moon Park (at no cost to taxpayers thanks to a $200,000 grant from Rockland County ARPA funds)”.
“Now I am going to try to take credit for monies that came from an outside source other than me and the Village Hall coffers. See what I did there?”
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Closed the Piermont Pier Park to motorized vehicles every Sunday from May 1st to September 30th, giving pedestrians and cyclists a SAFE and natural experience”.
“Yeah – ‘SAFE’, until they had to condemn and shut down the Piermont Pier tip because I neglected to take sufficient inspection, maintenance, and preservation measures during my eight years in office. But that’s Nate’s problem now”.
- - - - - - - - - -
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Created a new Village park behind the Gair Memorial across from M&T Bank – designed by renown[sic] Landscape Architect (and Village resident) Dan Sherman! (At no cost to taxpayers thanks to private donations)”.
“Aside from the fact that I also need to go back to school to learn the difference between a noun like “renown”[sic], as opposed to an adjective like “renowned” – I can’t wait to see what the New York State Comptroller’s Audit Report does with all the monies paid out to Dan Sherman during my eight years in office:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/08/but-audits-are-girls-best-friend.html
- - - - - - - - - -
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Kept our downtown business district vibrant, which maintains home values”.
“That is, if ‘vibrant’ means ‘underwater’… No sane purchaser is going to subscribe to your wished-for ‘home value’, once they inevitably figure out that Piermont is now approaching the American equivalent of Venice, Italy thanks to my failure to meaningfully address the flooding problem during my eight-year ‘watch’”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Repaved and added more plantings on the entire Pier (at no cost to taxpayers thanks to a grant from Assemblywoman Ellen Jaffee)”.
“At least you can now look at the plantings while you watch the Piermont Pier tip crumble into the Hudson River, right?”:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/11/failed-mayor-bruce-tucker-chooses-six.html
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Formed a Traffic Committee to address issues of safety, accommodation, and crowding including walking, cycling and parking”.
“This may be the biggest whopper yet. My taking credit for the traffic and safety situation in Piermont, is akin to the Ayatollah taking credit for the stability in the Mideast”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Successfully added more municipal parking by negotiating with the County to make their “Lot S Parking Lot” Village assessable”.
“Me taking credit for the parking situation in Piermont, on the other hand, is akin to Putin taking credit for reunification with Ukraine”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a ‘Do Not Knock’ law to address harassment by door-to-door salespeople”.
“Yet I couldn’t really prevent Kevin (TIMBO) Timoney from harassing Piermont voters throughout the Village prior to the November election that he lost, because after all, he was the Pony Boy I selected to try to block my enemy Nate Mitchell”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a new local law requiring large groups to obtain a permit before using our parks and Pier, guaranteeing availability to all of our residents”.
“Because permitting large groups to access the Pier is exactly what you need to prevent the decaying Piermont Pier tip from crumbling into the Hudson River. And, speaking of ‘availability’, don’t forget my record of staunch antipathy towards the disabled:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/12/profiles-in-ghoul-piermont-mayor-bruce.html
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2025/06/piermont-mayor-bruce-edward-tucker-loan.html
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Revitalized the business district with new stores and restaurants, including the reopening of the Community Market, working with entrepreneurs seeking to enrich our community”.
“Yet again, I will try to take credit for the for-profit activities of others, to claim as my own, in an effort to rehabilitate my failed ‘legacy’ as a four-term Mayor who did harm to the Village and its residents at virtually every turn”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Completed the raising and repaving of Ferry Road so it will no longer flood”.
“To suggest that during my mayoral reign I helped stave-off flooding in Piermont generally, would be akin to saying that chanting helped stave off COVID in 2020”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Installed a new sound system and lectern in the Village Hall Meeting Room, making it easier to hear meetings (at no cost to taxpayers thanks to the generosity of a Piermont resident)”.
“Yet somehow, Village residents still cannot be adequately heard when publicly-commenting in Village Hall, much less receive comment-back from the Mayor or Village Trustees when doing so - and much less seeing their comments adequately incorporated into an accessible audio-visual record. Let’s face it. My whole mayoral reign in Piermont has been one long attempt to cancel citizen involvement in decisions, and to suppress citizen awareness of the machinations of Village government”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Adopted the first Village Comprehensive Plan in Piermont history”.
“Adopted what is quite possibly the most rushed, amateurish, and therefore vulnerable Comprehensive Plan in New York State history – solely to snatch grant money away from its date of expiration and provide cover for the scheming zoning scam perpetrated by me, Village Hall, and our vendors”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“With the help of our Arts In Public Places Committee, we added two outdoor sculptures for everyone to enjoy; one from artist Grace Knowlton at Robert Samuels Park, and one from artist Elaine Lorenz on the Pier”.
“We were also going to put up a statue of me, The Garmento Mayor, in the middle of the Flywheel, but then we realized that we would have trouble piling it that high”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Suggested the placement of the convex mirror at the hairpin turn on Ash St. – a major improvement!”.
“Now this is big and rich. Can you just see me stepping up on a ladder with a mirror and a screwdriver to get this done? Maybe before I bug out of Village Hall on December 31, I should formally dedicate the mirror as the “Bruce Tucker Memorial Convex Mirror”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Instituted a ‘Neighbor 2 Neighbor’ registry to check in on our neighbors in the event of an emergency”.
“It’s funny. Here, I pretend to care about my Piermont resident neighbors. Yet for some reason I found it impossible to consider their well-being when wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars in their taxpayer money to litigate against them over my pet project sleazy real estate deal, or when seeking to witch-hunt and destroy my political enemy Nate Mitchell… Huh… I guess that would be the source of some cognitive dissonance if I actually had any integrity”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Environmental… [c]reated a [p]lastic [b]ag [f]ree Village by passing a Reusable Bag Law - the first such Municipality in Rockland County to do so - eventually adopted [s]tatewide”.
“Perpetuated Mike Bloomberg’s Nanny State by ensuring that your groceries and consumer goods will regularly break-out of the bottoms of your paper bags and roll all over the sidewalks. Whenever that happens, thank me, your Garmento Mayor”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a Local Law banning [g]lyphosate (an herbicide) on Village[-]owned property”.
“Yet my administration’s failure to adequately monitor construction activities in the Village, led to a toxic oil spill into the ecologically-sensitive Sparkill Creek in 2024 followed by beyond-sluggish remediative measures which ensured that the spill propagated all over the place. But what do I really care? I live up the hill anyway”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Completed conversion to LED street lighting - reducing the Village’s energy cost, and preserving our environment through lower energy demand”.
“This is the part where you try to picture me scrambling up the ladder and unscrewing all the light bulbs. Sure, I’ll take credit for this, too, and pretend that I did all the work. And after all, it was principally tax monies other than my own that paid for the LED lighting”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Negotiated a new recycling contract for once-a-week pickup, increasing the quantity of recyclables being processed, for which the Village receives compensation”.
“Speaking of ‘recycled’, I have a whole mess of sheets in my closets that I could sell to you at a good price. Unfortunately, the Good Housekeeping seals have been removed from them, though”:
https://unhandpiermont.blogspot.com/2024/11/piermont-mayor-bruce-tucker-and-rainbow.html
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“My wife, Sara, and I spearheaded and sponsored the Keep Rockland Beautiful cleanup days for Piermont the past eight years”.
“And now, I leave Nate Mitchell and all of you, to also clean up the eight-year mess that I made while pretending to be a responsible Mayor of Piermont. Good luck”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Mitigated the flooding of homes on Hudson Terrace at the bottom of First Street by building a wall to divert stormwater into our drainage system”.
“Sure. It’s now just all you other clowns who will get regularly flooded-out with virtually every rainfall, due to my eight years of failure and inattention”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Completed $100,000 in storm drainage improvements on the Erie Trail near the Train Station, (at no cost to taxpayers thanks to a grant from State Senator Elijah Reichlin-Melnick)”.
“Once a local politician cites the failure known as Elijah Munchkin-Schmendrick as support, then you know that local politician has truly jumped the shark”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Worked with the Sustainable Piermont Committee to receive a designation for the Village from New York State as both a ‘Climate Smart Community’ and ‘Clean Energy Community’”.
“And, congratulations - that will go right into your personal bank account while you are paying next year’s property tax bill and pumping out your basement for the fifteenth time – thanks to all my failures during my eight years claiming to occupy Piermont mayoral office”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Other… upon taking office in 2018, we updated the Village Web Site (you should have seen the one before this), and added a Village Facebook page to improve outreach to residents”.
“I just ran the most opaque local government in New York State history, worthy of Kim Jong Un. My ‘outreach’ was to evade and defeat resident FOIL requests at every possible turn. I deliberately concealed financials from the view of Village residents for at least four years running until I got caught doing it. I made sure there was no ‘outreach’ through the Comptroller’s Stress Monitor, since I deliberately missed virtually all of the Comptroller’s filing deadlines for the Stress Monitor. I kept the photos of virtually all Village officials off of the Village ‘website’ to ensure that their activities could be conducted in secret and in anonymity to the fullest extent possible. To suggest that I ever sought ‘outreach’ to Piermont residents, would be the equivalent of thanking Bernie Madoff for all of his charitable works and courtesies to his clients as a reputable financial planner.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Instituted the ‘My Piermont’ App for residents to download to access Village Information, and get both text and phone notifications about potential emergencies, as well as other announcements”.
“By the way, do more than three people actually use the ‘My Piermont’ App on a regular basis? And if so, will it alert residents when the Comptroller’s Audit Report issues?”
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Purchased a new 1.1 million dollar ladder truck for the Fire Department to aid in multi-level fires and keep residents safe”.
“‘Safe’… ‘Safe’, like the time that three current members of the volunteer Piermont Fire Department tied a 16-year-old kid to a chair and sexually-abused him as part of a sick “rite of passage” initiation. Not to mention the ‘safety’ inherent in my keeping one of those child sex abusers on the Piermont government payroll as a DPW worker. My ignoring their histories, is my rendition of ‘safety’. Your version may vary”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a Resolution blocking an MTA plan to turn our Erie Path Park into a ‘transportation corridor’ multi-use path from the George Washington Bridge to the Mario M. Cuomo Bridge”.
“Yet it was the Piermont residents living up the hill, themselves, who were responsible for shutting down the initiative. But who cares? I’ll take credit for it anyway”.
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FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Strengthened our [b]uilding [and] [z]oning [c]odes, including creating a new [r]ental [r]egistry”.
“It takes a special kind of chutzpah for a Mayor who rammed through a fake law and fake zoning, to then claim that he “strengthened” building and zoning codes – especially knowing that the New York State Supreme Court Justice hearing the case, ruled those actions as illegal”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Passed a local AirBnB law that requires that listings be owner/occupied – preventing outsiders from buying homes strictly for AirBnB and turning neighborhoods into ‘ghost blocks’”.
“Yet, somehow, Village Hall has been inundated with AirBnB requests over the past year, with no safeguard against existing homeowners selling out their neighbors for a quick AirBnB buck while destroying the character of the Village”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Worked with Lamont-Doherty in their renovation of the Pier’s research building and adjoining beautification”.
“That’s funny. To even suggest putting Bruce Edward Tucker in the same sentence along with the intellectual luminaries of Lamont-Doherty or Columbia University, would be the equivalent of reserving a tenth seat on the United States Supreme Court for Paris Hilton”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Created a new revenue source for the Village by approving a marijuana dispensary, confined to the commercial area on Route 9W, that will help offset Village expenses, keeping taxes down”.
“… And which will also help ensure a stoned Piermont populace for years to come, which should in turn do wonders for Piermont’s traffic, parking, and safety problems, not to mention dramatically increase police department costs. Thank God Piermont elected a Dead-head as Mayor eight years ago”.
FROM THE ORIGINAL GARMENTO-SPEAK:
“Negotiated a compromise on the maintenance of the seawall, whereby the DPW can maintain the overgrowth of trees and shrubs to protect the fence, North Walkway and seawall from root damage”.
“Thankfully, because one of the DPW workers on the Village of Piermont payroll is also one of the child sex abusers from the firehouse, this is a great way to keep him actively and publicly embedded within the community even if most of the tourists and residents traversing the walkways will have no idea who he is. Sort of like hiding in plain sight”.
